Our Adoption Story: Out with the old, in with the new

I love my brother. Despite all evidence to the contrary while we were growing up, I really am lucky to have Mitch as my brother and in my life. He has fought for me (literally and figuratively), loved me, encouraged me and stood behind me in everything I do. It is Mitch who helped us make a life altering change in our journey.

One day Mitch called and as we were talking he asked if we had heard of an agency called American Adoptions. He told me about a coworker who had adopted thru them, in fairly short order, and this was the agency they used. I was hesitant to even consider a new agency (even though ours was WORTHLESS). I was afraid, after research we had done early on and what we had seen about other agencies and their fees etc, to start all over again. Mitch talked about his coworkers experience and I thought it was worth at least calling and checking into.

I spoke with Rich about what Mitch had said and we decided to call and see what we thought. I remember sitting in my car, in a parking lot, after a job and making that call.  I was connected with a gentleman, Mike, that works for American Adoptions. He was so nice and answered all of my questions. He didn't seem to be in a rush to get off the phone and on with his day but rather that he was there for us. It was a breath of fresh air. Even in that 20-30 minute phone call I felt more comfortable with them than I had the agency that we had "worked" with for months now. That conversation was more contact than I had had with Heart to Heart. By the end of the phone call, the questions I had for them were answered and an information packet was on its way to us.

It was an overwhelming feeling but with my note pad in hand, Rich and I sat down and talked about possibly switching agencies. It required a substantial amount of money just to become "active" with this agency. The money wasn't the issue, it was that I didn't want to invest this money in an agency that would fail us the way the other two had. I didn't want to invest this and then be stuck and not be able to change paths again if it didn't work out. Once we paid this money we were in it until the end, or until we decided to pull the plug and not adopt after all.

I believe there were a few more calls to American Adoptions and a few more questions answered. Never once did I feel like I was burdening them by calling and asking questions. It was a great feeling and, in the end, an easy decision to make and sign on with them as an Adoptive Family. We began submitting the paperwork that they needed to start our profile. Answered all types of questions about us as a couple, family and individuals. We had to answer a list of favorites for each of us, such as favorite cartoon, car, animal, book, movie etc. We also had to write a letter to any potential birthmothers. This is what we wrote:

Letter to Birth Mother

Thank you for reading this letter and taking the time to explore our profile. Our names are Rich and Michelle and we are a happily married couple currently living in New Mexico. Throughout our entire relationship, we have always known we would adopt children. We are excited and ready to begin our family and be matched with the child that is meant to warm our home and our hearts with love, laughter and memories. Without you, we could not begin this process or travel down this path. Thank you for blessing us like this. Though we have never met you, we talk about you often, and how appreciative we are of you. You are selfless and courageous, and we are so grateful to you for allowing us to fulfill our dream of being parents and helping us to create our family.

Without the opportunity to adopt, the opportunity that can only come from you, we would not be able to have the family we have both always dreamed of. Right now there is a void in our home; there are no giggles or bed time stories, no noisy toys or dirty diapers to change. Experiencing the joy and miracle of parenthood is a dream for us. Rich can see himself playing catch in the front yard and Michelle can not wait to teach this child sign language and sing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star." Our happy home is ready for a son or daughter, and we are so thankful to you for your brave and loving decision.

Both of our families look forward to welcoming another little one. This child will have 11 cousins to play with and follow after during family holidays and visits. Both grandmas will be all too happy to have another grandchild to love. The grandfathers will love having another one to give piggy back rides and read to. There are aunts and uncles ready to spoil, play with and babysit anytime they can. There is so much love in our families, and everyone is excited to have another child to share that love with.

We will be happy to send you letters and pictures so that you can see this child grow and develop into the person they are meant to be. Should you want to exchange emails or talk via the phone, we would be happy to have this type of communication as well. We will do everything in our power, aligned with your comfort level, to ensure that this child knows who you are and what a tremendous gift you have given us.

We both want to sincerely thank you again for helping us to fulfill our dreams of having a family. We are truly excited to begin this process and look forward to getting to know you better. You will be in our thoughts and prayers everyday.

Thank you for taking the time to look at our profile. Even if you should not feel that we are a good fit for you, we wish you all the wonderful opportunities life can offer and a healthy delivery!

Sincerely,
Rich and Michelle

There was much more we had to fill out and answer, MUCH more. The agency then took all our information and pictures and wove it into a beautiful profile, both online and in print, that would be shown to birth mothers who's preferences matched with ours.

Once they had all the information for the print and online profile and while they were working on putting that together, they sent us video equipment to get some footage of what would later become our video profile. We put off the video portion until we were traveling home to Texas so that we could get some shots of us with the kiddos (I wanted to make sure that it appeared as though we knew what to do with a kid :)).  We did this at Mitch and Natalie's house. We made muffins with the kids, showed Rich and I with baby Caroline, went to the park to run, swing on the monkey bars and play with the kids. Later that night Mitch and Natalie answered some suggested questions about us and how great we would be as parents :).  We also had our friends Missie and Seb, Tom and Jenn and Rich's brother Steve and sister in law Stacy submit their video interviews as well. The agency would only pick one interview to show, Missie and Seb won that one :).  We sent all this off to the agency and they made a FABULOUS video profile of us. The link is below:

http://www.americanadoptions.com/ytvideo.php?vid=HMejR63GY60

During all of this we were having to update our homestudy for the third time. Since the first was done with the intention of an international adoption of a deaf child, when we switched to Heart to Heart we had to update it to reflect a domestic newborn adoption. Homestudies are only good for 12 months so in January of 2012 we were due to update again. Home visit, fingerprints, background checks etc all had to be done over. It wasn't too long after this that we were all up to date with everything and officially became active and listed on American Adoptions website as adoptive parents looking for their little one. And thus, the waiting began again...